Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 09:50

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Scientists discover universal rule that governs all life on Earth - The Brighter Side of News

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Has anyone ever read The Holy Bible completely through? If so, what was your overall impression of it?

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have a reading level above third grade